H ə a Я t ²

I still remember the 1st day we met. It's on the 9th June, 2008. You got out from your car and walked to me. Slowly, you walked into my life.

At the beginning, it's hard to be with you. Maybe because you are not so serious? And many times, when i decided to give up on this relationship, you holded me back. You said, you will change for me. You said, you wanna hold my hands and walk till the end.
I believe in you, and i've always believe you that had already changed. You're different from the 1st time when i know you. My heart smiles whenever i think of this.

Although there were times when we quarrelled, but i can still remember the faces of us crying together. You hugged me and said you don't wanna see me cry again.

There were also times when we laughed and fooled around together. You're always active like a monkey, moving here and there. And you love talking about cars. No car no life for you i guess. I miss the face when you're getting so excited and keep repeating the same thing. I miss the face when you're scolding people, smoking, sleeping, driving, laughing and just everything. I'm so missing you rite now. I just can't deny it.

I still remember, the 21st birthday that i celebrated with you. The very 1st cake that i bought for you. I really felt so lucky that i can be with you on your big day. And i wanted to give you the best present ever in your life. So i gave you the key of my heart.

But maybe, things aren't perfect in all ways. I've always felt that i'm not a part of your life, and that i don't influence your life at all. How can this be?

And don't know when it starts, things started to change. And it has come to the end. I've never thought things will ended up like THIS. And no matter how he treats me, i just can't hate him. I've tried before but i just can't. I don't hate him. I just feel hurt. Tears drop everyday.

Two days ago, someone asked me that if he finds me back and wanna start all over again, would i accept him? I answered him yes. I know it sounds so wrong but that is how i feel that time. Even if he said he got 4 girlfriends at the same time, but i just don't believe it. Until now, i still trust that he wouldn't do that. Maybe i'm just being naive? Sigh. Girls.

Maybe one day, i'll regret. Regret of what i've decided before. But i know very clearly that i've got no turning back. So i just need to keep on walking. Although i feel so tired now, but i will still keep on walking, because life goes on rite?

I will try not to turn back and look anymore.

Still, all i want is just happiness :) ♥


Wishing you happy always. I know you will.