H ə a Я t ²

I always thought i'd already let it go... :/

But at this moment i realised i actually didn't, i just hide it deep inside my heart, try not to let it influences my heart. I guess i'm just not that strong? Whenever there's something about her, i'll be extra sesnsitive. I really hate this kind of feeling... but i can't help it. I really can't. So sometimes, i really hate him alot. If he never lied to me, i won't be ending up like this. Like a stupid girl that always get sad about the past. I'd always, always blame him. And until now i still feel the same.

But i never regret of giving him another chance to change, because he really treats me the best now. Just sometimes i'm wondering, how long can this relationship last? 2 years? 3 years? Bringing the scar with me now, i really don't have the confidence. I know sometimes he'll feel tired too, because he just wanted me to let it go. Maybe for him, he feels that it's easy to do so. But at here i really wanna say, not everything can be cured. Once it's hurt, it'll really leave a scar. You may apply scar removal gel everyday, but there's no guarantee in healing it.

And for her, honestly i did feel a little sorry. After going through life together with him for years, suddenly it was all gone. But i really envy her alot, because she's the one who stayed beside him while he's slowly growing up. I actually understand how she feels, because i'm a girl too. But i guess life is all fated.

For now, i just want to lead a happy go lucky life. I want to complete my studies and work. One day, i'll surely make my mum feel proud of me. And for him, i will just say 'if we're meant to be, we will be together until the end'.

♥